


A Quartz Contentment: a TRoS Fix-it

by riotouscorgi



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Lives, F/M, Fix-It, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Redeemed Ben Solo, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:28:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22237900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riotouscorgi/pseuds/riotouscorgi
Summary: A fix-it that picks up during the Force Drain at Exegol: how I wish TRoS would have ended. This is me, working through my sadness.(Title is taken from "After great pain, a formal feeling comes" by Emily Dickinson)
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 9
Kudos: 58





	A Quartz Contentment: a TRoS Fix-it

Having life sucked from her wasn't an unpleasant feeling. She had time to turn the flavor around in her mouth, frozen here. It recalled the sensation of staying in the bathtub while the water drained around her, weight returning, wet skin cooling in the air. Why fight this? Her mind was slowing. Thinking of a reason was like trudging through quicksand. Dead, she would be free from the war. She would be free from hunger and fighting for scraps of humanity. Maybe there was a chance to be together with Ben in death.

 _Ben_. Ben who had given up Kylo Ren and the First Order, who had suffered decades of abuse yet still turned to the light, who had shown up in pajamas with a blaster to save her. He deserved so much more than how their story was about to end.

 _Ben,_ Rey called out through the bond, _Ben, I'm so sorry._

Reaching out with her mind in one last futile defiance of Palpatine, she sensed faintly a Force signature that didn't belong on Exegol. Stern, loving, powerful, wise. On Endor, Rey felt it leave its mortal body.

_Leia?_

With that thought, a roar ripped through the chamber. Ben Solo, imbued with the sacrifice of all Leia Organa's Force energy, pushed back against Darth Sidious' Force Drain. The Emperor's hold on them shattered. He turned to wholly to Ben and with reaching hands, they locked in a struggle of the Force, each trying to pull strength to their own self.

Rey fell to her palms. The power returning to her was oxygen spreading through her body after being underwater for too long. She rose to her feet, and Luke's lightsaber flew into her outstretched hand.

An explosion thundered off the walls and Ben was thrown, landing on his back. He stilled.

With a feral yell, Rey charged Palpatine, calling Leia's saber to her other hand.

Lightning shot from decayed fingertips.

Rey crossed the sabers to meet it.

She was screaming.

The emperor's cackling reverberated in her skull.

“Foolish girl! Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the dark side!”

Rey pushed back, an agonizing cry pierced her throat as she gained a step.

Palpatine's focus intensified. Rey's body shuddered with the effort of maintaining her grip on the lightsabers.

“I am all the Sith!”

“And I,” she bellowed, advancing further, “am all the Jedi!”

They were nearly face to face.

Her teeth bared, the effort of repelling him draining her, she knew she couldn't hold on much longer.

He laughed again. She felt him summoning all his focus, all his energy, raising his arms as if to deal a death blow.

 _I'm sorry, Ben,_ she murmured once more across the bond, then closed her eyes, seeking peace, readying herself.

A flash of red lit up behind her eyelids. And then...nothing.

She opened her eyes.

The Sith Lord lay dead before her.

She turned around.

Ben Solo wavered where he stood, blaster at his hip, then collapsed.

The laughter was in his head now, but he felt himself fading quickly.

_Take your place, Kylo Ren, heir of Vader, at the seat of the Empire he squandered._

Voices clamored in his head. His mind had been invaded before, but not like this. He had been smothered by the darkness before, but not like this.

A thousand generations lived in him now.

He held on to the small point of light he felt flickering close by. The warmth of small hands holding his.

 _No,_ he thought. _It's time to let old things die._

His consciousness ebbed gradually, and then all at once, Ben's life and the voices he carried were no more.

“ _Ben,”_ a soft voice stirred him, incorporeal, in the blackness.

_Mom._

“Honey. You did beautifully.”

_Mom, I'm so sorry._

“I love you. And I always have. Nothing could ever change that.”

He couldn't speak for minutes, or maybe eons. Were they beyond time?

_Is this the end?_

“For me, Ben.”

_And for me?_

“I sure as hell hope not! Do you know what I've done to keep you alive?”

_I love you, Mom._

Leia's laugh echoed all around. “I know.”

Rey held Ben's hands as he slipped away.

“ _Be with me_ ,” she whimpered, “ _please_.”

She hugged his lifeless body to her and sobbed. She was alone.

A familiar whisper, an echo: _No one's ever really gone._

She took a deep breath, then cradled Ben's head to her chest and closed her eyes.

Rey focused herself in the Force. Ben deserved a chance to live, truly live.

Rey's face was the first thing Ben saw. He traced the constellations in her freckles. Tears clustered her dark lashes together, but her face was serene. She was so beautiful, and he ached to touch her.

He propped himself up and cupped her face. Her eyes fluttered open as she gasped. His wet eyes searched hers.

“Ben,” she smiled.

It was too much. It was not enough. But she moved first; her hands flew to his face, tender and soft. She pressed her lips to his.

He wrapped his arms around her, falling into her, deepening the kiss.

All too soon, she pulled away. She held his gaze, her eyes joyful, and for the first time in so long, he smiled.

Their foreheads leaned together. A perfect moment.

Rey collapsed in his arms, spent from the effort of the battle and of bringing him back. He held his ear to her chest. Her heart beat weakly.

He wanted nothing more than to curl up with her and rest, but there was nothing safe about where they were. Around them, the building was crumbling. Above them, the dogfights raged on.

On the verge of passing out, Ben scooped Rey into his arms and staggered through the temple.

He reached their ships and laid Rey carefully behind the seat of the TIE fighter without even a second glance at Luke's X-Wing.

He wracked his worn mind for a place where she would be taken care of and he wouldn't be killed before he got her there.

He shook his head, wanting to believe this was a good idea, and the TIE fighter took off.

**Author's Note:**

> I am thinking about writing more, lmk what you all think. Thanks for reading! xo


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